Beyond the Embarassing Style

I met him at the bar one night. I hate dancing, especially to top 40, unless there's enough room for me bust out crazy dance moves that involve me swinging my hair and my friends getting embarrassed, ANYWAY, I was dancing to top 40, with some really tall guy. Part in the USA came on and he said he secretly loves the song. I had to stop dancing and go for a smoke. He followed. He was good looking, I guess if you like the American Eagle blonde dude. He was really tall, and I like that, at least. So we smoked and talked and it was really cold outside and I lost my friends because they were too busy dancing to top 40, not like idiots. But they found me, because they knew I'd be smoking outside, and told me it was time to go home. Tall boy asked me for my number and I gave it to him because he seemed nice enough. Then he asked me to go home with him to cuddle. Yes, he actually asked me to go cuddle. I have a strict home turf policy, so I said no.


But I guess he really liked me because for the next week he kept texting me, asking when a good time would be to get together. When he suggested I come over to watch a movie, I smirked and did the "my eyebrow has been fish hooked" thing. He thinks he's being subtle, but I'm onto his tricks!
The thing is, if he was ridiculously attractive or really cool I would have gone for it. But he's just okay. He's very cute and tall but nothing about him is really my type.
I went to the same bar again about two weeks later. He somehow found me, which was really weird. We danced again but this time I told him that really hate dancing and that we should go smoke and talk some more. It was pretty uneventful, so I went and bought a shot and a drink and proceeded to get wasted. I really shouldn't have because at some point I decided that it would be a good idea to bring him home and serenade him. So I played him a song or two. Then he asked me if knew any country. Are you fucking kidding me?
We smoked a joint with my roommate and then I decided it was time for bed. And by bed I mean sleep. Really. I'm not a prude at all. When the time is right and more importantly, if the guy is right, I have no qualms about jumping his bones. But this was not right. He kept trying to turn me around to face him in my bed and make out with him but I just wanted to sleep. So I told him a big fat lie.
"I'm sorry but I don't really do this, the whole bringing home a boy thing. So I kind of feel really uncomfortable and I think it would be better if you left." So he did.
I apologized the next day, because apparently he had to walk for an hour to get home. Yeah, I'm a bitch. So I was really surprised when he called me at 3 am a week later. I was fucking wasted and I pretty much told him to fuck off and not to use me as a booty call because it's not going to work. (I mean, really, I kicked you out of my bed for a reason). He messaged me the next day apologizing, asking if I'd like to go out with him some time.
Fuck, guys are dumb!